Dating is hard. Getting over someone you felt was going to be the one I dare to say is harder. You go out on a couple of dates with someone and are hooked. A few months go by and you find yourself curious to know “Where is this going?” you ask. All to hear “I’m not ready to get into a relationship”. Besides the fact that you know you want a serious relationship what do you do now?
Recognize you are infatuated with someone who isn’t real
One of the most important things to remember when dating is that we always tend to show our best side to people when we first meet them. This not only applies to ourselves but also to others. This is why it is important to keep in mind that first impressions are not always completely accurate. This can become more problematic if we find the other person very attractive. Why? Because our mind automatically tends to create an ideal perfect version of them in our head. This could be potentially problematic if things don’t work out because think about it who can compete with this perfect fantasy?
What is hard about getting over someone you have never officially dated is that for whatever reason most of the time this person has only been in your life for a short amount of time. This could be due to them moving or them ending the situation. On the contrary, couples who have been in a relationship with one another have had a year to a few years to get to know each other. They get to know each other’s flaws and quirks. There is usually a reason as to why they broke up in the first place. That reason is what tends to prevent them from getting back together with some exceptions of course.
That is why people who have never had the time to get to know the other person and are stuck with this perfect image of the other person tend to find it hard to get over the other person. We have to remember that everyone is human and that the version that we create in our heads is not real.
Let go of your past or imagined future together
One of the things that tend to hold us back from going on with our lives can be our past and future or sometimes both. Think about it, if you constantly find yourself thinking about the good times you had together or thinking of what could have been or thinking about that person you are making it harder for yourself to move on. It is ok to go through a grieving stage, however what is also important to not dwell in it for too long. Do what you have to do to get that person out of your system but do not let that get in the way of your journey towards finding who is meant for you.
Do not forget what you deserve and what you have to offer
Regardless if the situation was labeled as a relationship or not it is as profound and impactful as one. It is during these times you must not forget that you deserve love and have a lot of love to give. When you realize how valuable your love is and that not just anyone deserves to attain it you become much more protective of it and don’t see every single thing that did not work out as a kind of loss. Quite the contrary you start seeing it as a loss for them. Whether it was not the right timing or just not the right person you are being placed on the path toward something better and is meant for you.
